Lately a thread of thought is growing stronger in me. I have been thinking, rather realising, that all my crazy adventures – solo cycling, camping, hiking, getting lost and being rescued and all other adventures which seem so mad cap to me and will to many other women – they are a very small fraction of the stuff that men can do.

And men will do these things without even much thinking. Without much planning. And here I have to meticulously plan, plan and plan and then I do this thing and nothing ‘untoward’ happens (phew!). And I feel happy and awesome about it.

It feels a bit ridiculous to be honest. Despite doing wildest things that were beyond my imagination and that too solo – and then to feel like OK so whatever I do and how much ever I do, I am always going to be doing a small fraction of what men can do without even much thought.

And I wasn’t really looking to make a Men v/s Women comparison. And it’s not necessarily such a comparison – it also happens between say, Indian women and a woman from Iceland (one of the safest countries in the world for women). A woman in Iceland may do so many things which I may not even consider because “basic safety”. But usually it is the men especially in India – without even realising it, they talk about stuff they have done just so normally. If I had to do it – I would have to plan and think about safety so much!

But then I centered my mind and I understood that what really matters are our qualities within. And so even though on the outside what I may have done is less than what most guys have the option to do – the inner quality required for me to do those things is at par with the more daring / brave / badass guys out there.

This quality counts.

And as a spiritual sadhaka, we need to focus on cultivating our qualities. We don’t need to maintain a roster of ‘great’ things done on the outside. Though, it may have great value in society. And it may also add a lot of value to my personal life, but by itself, it does not bring the clarity sought after.

The inner quality takes precedence over external situations.

And when we understand and respect this, life makes a lot of sense. It is why we would respect and cherish women who after a long struggle with a violent husband are still hale and hearty. They don’t need to “do” anything big, they don’t need to climb a Mount Everest – just that they are here and they are well. This is just an example. But the point is that Life only starts making sense when we value Inner Quality over External achievements.

Though it is not easy to gauge inner quality. There are lot of mental subterfuges taking place. Like zealous righteousness of religious people some consider it is holiness. While it is only utter crap.

But we can definitely be aware and attentive of our own inner qualities. And take it from there.

Rigorous sadhana and awareness are needed. But once some insight into this develops, I have found it to be a much better touchstone to gauge people and situations. External achievements and situations can be often misleading. But if one gains real insight about the inner quality of people, it is a much better indicator. Albeit a little ‘intuitive’.