In this blog, I review my past year as a sadhaka. And that’s a very overwhelming matter for me…. because this year was full of revelations and things to ponder on. It also brought key insights into my life. And I am in a state of flux about my future course.
In terms of actual events, I think there were 3 major ones…
3 months in Tiruvannamalai
In my last years review, I was feeling sad that I couldn’t spend as much time as I liked in Tiru. So this year, I am very happy that I managed to spend 3 months in Tiru. I was also considering renting a place for long term there. But haven’t yet. Let’s see.
It brought a plethora of insight into the varied sadhaka diaspora of India. The sheer number of enlightened beings that have happened in India. And every generation these beings are available to sadhakas. It’s so heart warming. I also made lots of friends there. Being under the eye of Arunachala mountain was super. The presence of the mountain and the sheer variety and range of sadhakas, ashrams and paths one finds there is amazing.
Isha Yoga Center
This was another inexplicable bomb of the year. Isha Yoga center is my ground zero. This is where, in a way, my foundations of spiritual journey have been set. And since a few years back, I knew I would re-visit it soon…
But in February 2018, I had no plans of going there. Things just lined up for an impromptu trip to their Mahashivratri celebrations. This was tough because at that time I couldn’t enter the ashram, and anyway they would be chock full. I ended up staying in a nearby village in a dilapidated hut.
It was pretty crazy but it happened and eventually things got sorted between the admin and me. Soon, in May end, I stayed for 7 days inside the ashram. And I also decided to help them with their media presence. Later in the year, around Dussehra, I again stayed there for over a month (with my cycle, Tibet).
While I knew I would revisit the place again, I didn’t realise that I would do all these other things. It all happened.
This visit to Isha ashram opened up a lot of questions for me. The differences between staying inside an ashram versus outside for a sadhaka. Sant sangati with the other Isha practitioners – how much of a camaraderie do I actually feel with them? How I have changed since 2007-8 when I stayed there as a full-time volunteer. The changes in the ashram. The few people that I knew back then, how they have changed. Re-freshing those old relations which had gathered dust over the years.
So many things.
Almost died!
Rewinding to the beginning of the year – Dec, 2017, I almost died on a solo hike in a Spanish natural park. I was rescued. And this was my second close brush with death.
In that situation, when I sat down after all my efforts to find a way out had failed, I realised that all in all, I am very happy with my life. And I was deeply grateful to my Guru. I wasn’t scared. It was a surprise for me that I could be so clear in that situation. It has helped me align my life better.
I guess this experience made the whole Isha Yoga Center visit and interactions with the various people there much more easier and in the right spirit. I got a new lease of life and I wanted to make the most of it. And especially, be a part of my Guru’s ashram.
As it happens, I then had a 3rd brush with rape/death in Sept, 2018. This was a bizarre situation which I have, as yet, not articulated. For now, I will keep it that way. But I don’t want to create suspense either, so suffice to know that not a single hair on my head was harmed. I was amidst a tense situation, and some people (well-meaning) around me thought the worst would happen. But some kind of intense fire was burning inside me and I was so single focused at that time. I think that averted any mis-happening of any kind. But I am not entirely clear how to talk about this event, so I haven’t.
So basically this was a real power packed year.
And in the midst of it all, I also crossed the halfway mark of the 30s. I am going through some thyroid related imbalance and it has been depleting my energies quite a bit last few months. A good way to enter the second half of my 30s. 😀
The incidents on the outside are easier to summarize. But the impact of them, seem to have left me in a bit of an overloaded state.
My heads abuzz with a lot of new thoughts, deeper insights and ideas. A lot of flux about future plans (especially considering that I could die anytime).
So overall, I must say this has been a great year. And I almost feel a trepidation for what life has in store for me in the future.
That’s all from me.
How was Vikram Samvat 2074 for you?
What is a sadhaka?
Good Q