She said,

“Because I didn’t get admission in college”

“I have studied only till 10th standard. That was in Gujarat in Gujarati medium. I didn’t know any English. My family then shifted to Mumbai. But the college in Mumbai insisted that I should know some English in order to get admission in 11th std. But I didn’t know any.

So then I was sitting at home. My mom, told me to meet the nearby maharaj sahibs, that way at least I can learn something about dharma (religion).”

Then she kept going deeper in to dharma and eventually wanted to take up diksha. Her guru maharaj tested her a lot before giving her diksha. She mentioned some big numbers – 80 fasts and some such. But I couldn’t grasp them because it seemed too rigorous.

Anyway,

I was a little shocked. Because not being able to study and thus taking up bhramacharya can be seen in two lights,

That bhramacharya was a secondary option that she chose because other, more preferable, doors in life didn’t open. But on deeper thinking one wonders if this is so. Don’t we all always choose the best option available to us? Just cause schooling didn’t happen for her, she could have turned entrepreneurial and made some home made products and sold them. Or she could have pinned her hopes on a good marriage. Or learnt dharma stuff and then conducted tutions for kids thus earning money and also gaining merit of spreading dharma.

So, as per her karmic understanding, bhramacharya must have seemed like the best option for many reasons. And the guru had tested her to ensure that she can stick through the rigors required.

Another way to see it is that,

It was by grace the doors of schooling closed for her. This way she found her real calling – of bhramacharya. And she also found the right Guru in whom she put her trust and thus got ordained.

Anyway,

she saw I switched to English every now and then while conversing in Gujarati. She got excited and asked me to come and teach her some English. And then she wanted someone to transfer some of her whatsapp images to her pen drive. So I took my laptop there and did the transfer for her. I went around 6ish when it got dark. And all of a sudden there was a huddle of sadhviji monks sitting around my laptop where I showed them pictures of their guru maharaj. It was the 1 year death anniversary of this Guru that day. So it was very touching for them.

They are technically not allowed to have a mobile, or deal with any electronic instruments at all.

They were curious about the laptop. And it felt like they wanted to learn it too – but they will never be able to if they continue as Jain monks. And they wanted to learn English – which they could learn from some willing disciples. It might even help them with their discourses and lectures as adding a few words in English is so impressive.

Was it just the curious and learning keenness of a clear mind? Or at least for some of them, did a different life call, but economic and social difficulties make bhramacharya the most appealing? But if this is the case, can they really sustain a good bhramacharya (whatever that is)?

I pondered deeply that night. I was supposed to meet them next day cause the sadhvi wanted to transfer more pictures and such stuff. But I was in a flux internally. And I didn’t visit her again. I could have called her and informed her, but I didn’t.

Actually, this picture transfer work should have been a 30 mins tasks. But it became much longer as they all of a sudden had access to a laptop which is uncommon for them. And I had multiple things going on at that time, so found this all taxing. Because I being the way I am, had to start pondering whether it was right for them to be transfixed by the laptop. For monks in a lot of other paths like Buddhism, Ramakrishna Math, Isha Foundation and so on, using a laptop is fine. But in Jainism, the path is about thinking about every little bacteria and minimizing our violence on them. And if watching your dead Guru’s photos will kill millions of bacteria inside the laptop screen then better you don’t see it.

And yet, I wouldn’t impose anything on anyone. If I was less caught up then I may have visited them again with my laptop.