There are some matters where my thoughts differ significantly compared to others. One matter is that of Regrets.

Regrets don’t make sense to me.

However, other people seem to take regrets for granted. There is always something. “If only I had studied English in school then….” , “If my father would have allowed….” , “If only I hadn’t let go of that job…”

Something.

So they even have a type of formal letter that is called “regret letter”.

Meaning of the word:

Regret: feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that one has done or failed to do)

For a person to feel sad, repentant or disappointed over something that was done or not done, one would first need to judge that matter and the specific action.

“I went for a job interview…. getting a job here would be really good“

“Thus, doing well in the job interview is the good action”

Now if I fudge it up…. then it is the bad action. And thus regret.

These are lots of judgements.

It’s better not to indulge in them. At least not unconsciously in a compulsive way.

Sadly, for most people these kind of judgements are a given. And their whole life revolves around these unconsciously made judgements about actions and matters.

The better course of thought is to simply understand that all actions will have consequences. Like the chain of domino chips which topple one after the other.

With each action there will be the associated karma.

That’s all.

If we don’t get the vied for job, then the consequences would be giving more job interviews. And not getting money for a while. And the associated social perks and so on.If we get the job then also there is a bunch of karmic consequences. More money which may or may not be used properly. More drinking parties. A new bunch of friends – supportive or not. And so on.

Either case, a bunch of karmic consequences.

”Of all the happiness in the mundane world, there is none which is not suffering” ~ Avatamsaka Sutra

Grasping these consequences without a cascade of negative feelings of rejection and sadness is a good idea.

And also because,

be gentle with yourself, your story will change over the years. Your perspective will change. The experiences you gather will change. What you value and what you don’t value over time will change.

So considering this, how can we judge all these small matters and related actions all the time? We must NOT.

Do not have any regrets in your life. Which ever way life has happened, it is OK.

Summarizing Ramana Maharshi, Life will happen the way it is destined to. Only choice we have is whether we turn inwards or not. (this is not an exact quote but a gist I have understood of what he has said often on the matter of free will and destiny)

Exact Ramana quotes:

Whatever is destined not to happen will not happen, try how hard you may. Whatever is destined to happen will happen, do what you may to stop it.

As for freedom for man, he is always free not to identify himself with the body and not to be affected by the pleasures or pains consequent on the body’s activities